I found out the hard way that taking your child or children to a Flyers' game will not win you a "Father of the year" award. In fact, it might even warrant a call from the authorities.
You know how they had a few bombs dropped in Japan about 65 years ago? Multiply that amount by 500, and imagine all of the bombs have transformed into actual F Bombs.
My nephews, who are 9 and 7, luckily, seemed not to absorb too much from a half pissed off and half pissed Philadelphia crowd.
It all started when the opening introductions for the opposing team began. The announcer's voice sounded on the PA "Forward Sean Avery" followed by "sucks" from the Philadelphia crowd. This occurred each time a new Ranger player was introduced. I found it classless but I expected nothing less from Flyers' fans. Luckily, the crowd was in a good mood because the Flyers scored first. That kept the cursewords to a minimum. Then the Rangers scored a shorthanded goal and the verbal fuckfest was on!
The first people to get fucked were the few unlucky Rangers' fans who were sitting in the lower level. They told a balding fat guy to go the f back to New York and go f his wife and the taxi she drives, etc. At that point I was glad I was not wearing a Rangers Jersey, lest the wrath of the Flyers fans rain down on me.
There was a brief respite from using the f bomb, when the crowd starting screaming "asshole, asshole, asshole" ad nauseum after the ref made one of his bad calls. It was then that the greasy Jesus (guy sitting next to me) and the guy with the double chin starting saying the ref was f-ing blind, what f-ing game was he watching, that check was f-ing illegal, etc. Shortly after, they graduated to sentences like "that douchebag just grabbed his stick."
Keep in mind that the Flyers are supposed to present a family atmosphere so that people will feel comfortable bringing their kids to the game. My advice is, unless you have a box with soundproof glass, don't bring them. You expect there to be fights and stick-swinging maniacs playing hockey, but the fans of Philadelphia said expressions that would have made Chris Rock and George Carlin (if he could) blush. I don't want my kid asking "Daddy why did that man say
to f that other man and the f-ing horse he rode in on?" What's wrong with that man's horse?"
Man, Flyers' fans are real assholes.
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1 comment:
Sounds like a good time was had by all.
What age do you think it appropriate to bring the kids? Perhaps 9-10? By then they MUST have heard the entire range of the f-word (verb, adjective, noun, adverb, gerund). I'd say that would be an appropriate time.
But those people did pay their hard earned money to sit in a cold arena and watch a game from a distance that they could have seen more clearly on television. I think you are being too hard on them.
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